Hogwarts Watches 'A Very Potter Sequel'
by Evanescencefan97
Summary: It's Harry Potter's fifth year, and Professor Umbridge recently discovered that there are a series of plays about Harry Potter. Hogwarts have already watched the first play, and now, much to Umbridge's annoyance, they must watch the second. Sequel to 'Hogwarts Watches 'A Very Potter Musical'.
1. Chapter 1- Act 1, Scene 1

**A/N: Hello everyone! I hope you all had fantastic holidays and New Year! Anyway, here is the first chapter of Hogwarts Watches A Very Potter Sequel!**

After Harry had somewhat gotten over the shock of there being multiple musicals about him, he stared at Dumbledore, hoping that he wouldn't really play another musical about him. Luckily for Harry, Professor Umbridge had rather dramatically fainted, which had taken most of the attention off him for the time being. Additionally Dumbledore seemed to have noticed that the students, although clearly excited to watch the play, looked exhausted, and so he promptly decided to send them off to bed, with the promise that they would watch the play tomorrow. As the students all left the Great Hall to go to their respective Common Rooms, Dumbledore flicked his wand, and the House tables all cleared themselves of food and promptly piled themselves up at the back of the Great Hall.

Dumbledore then looked at the guests, hearing Bill Weasley mutter something about booking a room in Hogsmeade, and shook his head.

"You are all guests of the castle, and so you can stay here," Dumbledore insisted, waving his wand and conjuring rows of enough beds for all of the guests. The guests nodded gratefully, and Molly smiled. She knew that Dumbledore knew she didn't have the money to pay for enough rooms at Hogsmeade for her family, and so she very much appreciated Dumbledore's generosity. She quickly picked a bed, and laid down in it, warming herself up with the thick duvet. The rest of the guests followed suit and once Dumbledore was satisfied that everyone was comfortable enough, he waved his hand, gesturing for his fellow teachers to go to their own rooms. Severus Snape was the last teacher to leave the room, levitating Professor Umbridge in front of him, and not seeming to be particularly bothered when she hit her head on the door. Professor Dumbledore smiled at the guests and left the room himself, saying goodnight.

By the next morning, at approximately 8:00am, the Great Hall was once more filled with students, teachers and guests alike. The house elves had just finished clearing away the breakfast, and now everybody sat in anticipation, chattering amongst themselves while they waited to watch the second play about Harry Potter.

Harry Potter himself surprisingly, did not look that bothered at the fact that once again, people would be watching a play about him. After the absurdity that was 'A Very Potter Musical', Harry very much doubted that this play could get any weirder than the first. He occupied himself by doodling on a notepad, and glancing at Professor Umbridge, who wore the expression of someone who would much rather be anywhere but in the Great Hall. Professor Dumbledore glanced at her briefly, and then waved his hands, silencing the room.

"I do hope that we have all had a good rest," he began, surveying the room. "Today, we will be watching another play, called 'A Very Potter Sequel'".

He promptly pointed his wand at the laptop, and it began to play the video.

Familiar music began playing as a disclaimer appeared on the screen, stating that the play was produced and performed for Harry Potter fans.

Harry nudged Hermione and whispered "I told you I had fans." Hermione rolled her eyes.

The stage began to light up, showing a long haired blonde man. Over at the Slytherin table, Draco frowned, hoping that the man wasn't supposed to be his father.

 **Lucius: You're late.**  
 **Yaxley: Late? What's it matter? Look at this morning's Prophet, "The Boy-Who-Lived Does it Again", "The Dark Lord Dead For Good." I knew it! We backed the wrong side,** a **gain!**

Harry grinned at this, although he wished that he could defeat Voldemort quicker in real life.

 **Lucius: Calm yourself Yaxley.**  
 **Yaxley: All us Death Eaters are going to Azkaban now. NO! NO-no-no-no-no-no!**

Draco looked up sharply at the screen at the mention of Yaxley. He knew that he was one of his father's 'acquaintances' so to speak, which made Draco aware that it was extremely likely that other acquaintances, as well as Lucius Malfoy himself, would turn up in this play. He was desperately hoping that if his father was really in this play, that he would not be portrayed too badly, or at least not as bad as Draco was.

 **Lucius: Do you have what I sent you for or not?**  
 **Yaxley: Yeah I got it. (pulls out pouch) I had to break into the Ministry for it but I got it.**  
 **Lucius: Excellent.**  
 **Yaxley: And you should see the Ministry. The Dark Lord not dead more than a day and they've already got the wizard cops out after us.**

Kingsley smirked, hoping that if he was going to be in this play, that he would be a 'wizard cop'.

 **Lucius: Damn those wizard cops! Well, none of that matters anymore for as long as we have this.**  
 **Yaxley: Who do you think you are? We don't stand a chance against the wizard cops. Not even you Lucius Malfoy.**

At the mention of Lucius Malfoy, all eyes seemed to turn to Draco, who chose to stare blankly at the table in an attempt to avoid the stares. Astoria glanced at him briefly, feeling almost _sorry_ for him. She frowned as soon as she noticed the feeling, and quickly glanced away, focusing on the laptop screen again.

Draco however, was mentally running through all of the ways in which his father could take legal action against the makers of the play.

 **Lucius: (singing) Don't ever tell me what I can't do. I'd watch my tongue if I were you for all we know, You-Know-Who could be watching us.**

Much of the Gryffindor table burst into laughter at the sight and sound of Lucius Malfoy's singing. Draco, however, glared at the screen at the sight of his father singing and dancing and decided that it would probably be better that his father did not find out that this play existed. This would be one thing at least that Draco now had no intentions of telling his father about.

 **Yaxley: (spoken) He can't be, he's dead!**  
 **Lucius: (singing) That never stopped our plans before. You've no idea what I have in store. You really think that you'd be at my door if we had nothing to discuss? He may be gone but that is just as well. Come inside, don't you fret for it's not over yet.**

Several of the Slytherin students scowled at the screen as they saw more Death Eaters appear, hoping somehow that their parents wouldn't be shown in the same way as Lucius Malfoy was.

 **Death Eaters: (singing) Evil Plans, we are making evil plans. Evil deeds with evil hands, we are making evil plans.**

The same Slytherins rolled their eyes at the Death Eater's singing, realising that they probably should've known that this play would treat them the same as Lucius Malfoy.

 **Death Eater 1: (speaking) Lucius Malfoy, why have you called us here?**  
 **Death Eater 2: What do we do Lucius?**  
 **Death Eater 3: There is nothing to do, the Dark Lord is dead. Harry Potter wins, end of story.**

Harry grinned, and high fived Ron at the mention of him defeating Voldemort. Even Snape allowed a sliver of a smile to appear on his face, which he quickly twisted into his usual scowl when Umbridge glanced at him, aware that he had to be incredibly careful to keep up the _façade_ in front of her.

 **Lucius: Yes, I know, I know. He marries Ginny, they live happily ever after. There is literally no way to move forward from this point.**

Both Harry and Ginny turned a shade of crimson, while Ron looked between his baby sister and his best friend. He could just about handle them kissing in the last scene, but the idea of them getting married was just _weird_ to him.

 **Yaxley: Then why are we all here?**  
 **Lucius: I was just getting to that. Harry Potter *Death Eaters growl*, we're in this sorry state because of him and to think of all the chances we had to destroy him. Why, if we had destroyed him at his first year at Hogwarts, we'd be ruling the world right now!**

Harry nodded, thinking that Lucius actually had a good point. Obviously, he was glad that the Death Eaters hadn't actually killed him when he was in his first year. He just hoped that they would at least let him finish his education before killing him- at this point, there wasn't really many spells he knew how to fight Death Eaters with, and he highly doubted that his old friend _Expalliarmus_ would work every time.

 **Death Eater 1: Yes Lucius, no one is arguing that.**  
 **Death Eater 2: What does it matter? We can't change the past.**

At this, Hermione raised an eyebrow, wondering what was going to happen next.

 **Lucius: Oh? *singing* I know it seems impossible. We've been thrown off our track but if we can't move forward, why shouldn't we move back? *pulls out Time Turner*** **Friends and companions of evil and sin, think not of loss but a new way to win! For what is a present without a beginning to start it all?**

Draco frowned. It wasn't exactly a _bad_ idea, per say, but Draco had a feeling he would've taken it more seriously had his 'father' not delivered his plan while singing.

 **Yaxley: Go on.**  
 **Lucius: There is a boy that everyone knows, the plan is simple. I propose that that we choke the weed before it grows up and ends it all. Do you follow me?**  
 **Death Eater 1: No.**

Ron snorted, wondering if Death Eaters were really all that stupid. He took a moment to think about, briefly remembering what exactly it was that Death Eaters had as their ideology, and very quickly came to the conclusion that based on their beliefs, Death Eaters probably were all that stupid.

 **Lucius: The Dark Lord would have survived had they never met…**  
 **Death Eater 2: Wait-wait-wait-wait, so you're saying he wouldn't be destroyed?**  
 **Lucius: He'd be alive, what don't you get?**  
 **Death Eater 3: Still not understanding…**

Draco rolled his eyes. Although he hadn't had the chance to officially go to any Death Eaters, from what he had heard from his father, Death Eaters did not seem to be as stupid as they were portrayed here.

 **Lucius: With Potter gone, the future will be set!**  
 **Death Eaters: Oh!**  
 **Lucius: So it's not over yet.**

Umbridge smirked at this, wishing that the Death Eaters would hurry up and get rid of Potter quickly. She might not have had the Dark Mark, or particularly care about the Dark Lord, but in her eyes, Potter was a nuisance and the sooner he was dealt with, the better.

 **Death Eaters: Evil plans, what a brilliant evil plan! Malfoy, you're an evil man. We love making evil plans.**  
 **Lucius*speaking*: So it is decided, we shall use this Time Turner to back in time to Harry Potter's first year at Hogwarts. We'll destroy him before he ever gets the chance to destroy us. My friends, I think we're going back. Who's with me?**  
 **Death Eaters: YEAH!**

"No!" yelled Fred and George. Harry smiled at their support for him.

 **Everyone: Our history is nothing more than what the losers settle for.**  
 **Lucius: So look alive and don't forget…that it's not over,**  
 **Everyone: It's not over…It's. Not. O. Ver. Yet! *time travel***

"Well, at least their plan probably won't actually work based on how stupid the Death Eaters are," Hermione quipped.  
Ron nodded in agreement. "Yeah, but it should be entertaining to watch!" he said.

 **Train Assistant: Platform 9, Platform 10, nothing in between.**

Harry grinned at this, remembering the look of disbelief on Uncle Vernon's face when he tried to explain that he needed to get to platform 9 ¾. Briefly, he wondered if he had ever gone to Kings Cross before he went to Hogwarts, but reasoned that there was no way that Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia would ever take him to a train station, probably because Uncle Vernon would likely have wanted to just put Harry on a random train. From what he had learned over the summer, however much his aunt and uncle disliked him, they still had to keep him in the house.

 **Harry: Can somebody tell me how to get to Platform Nine and Three Quarters?**

Loud cheers resounded from the Gryffindor table, and Harry turned bright red at all of the attention. Draco smirked, glad for once at Potter's appearance, as it took attention away from his father.

Harry smiled at his appearance in the play, but raised an eyebrow at the rather bright headband his character was wearing. Beside him, Ron also raised an eyebrow at the headband.  
"I'm not sure blue's your colour, mate." He said.  
Harry scoffed, before turning to Hermione, who took one look at Harry's expression and said, "You're not buying one. It really wouldn't suit you."  
George caught Harry's eye, and winked. "Don't worry," he whispered conspiratorially. "We'll get you one for Christmas."  
Harry grinned, and turned back to the screen to focus on the next scene, which had began loading on the laptop.

 **A/N: Thank you for the reading the first chapter of Hogwarts Watches A Very Potter Sequel! My apologies for the delays in this chapter, but I hope you enjoyed it! As always, please review if you liked it, and I'll see you in the next chapter!**

 **A/N 2: I also recently uploaded my first Criminal Minds fanfic, so feel free to read that if you like the show!**


	2. Chapter 2- Act 1, Scene 2

**A/N: Hello everyone and thank you for the reviews, favourites and follows for the last chapter! Now onto chapter 2!**

 **Harry: Excuse me sir, can you tell me how to get to Platform 9 ¾?**

Harry couldn't help but continue to blush at the attention he was receiving, looking relieved when the train assistant began to speak.

 **Train Assistant: Platform 9 3/4, there ain't no such thing. You're the 700th kid to ask me that. I still refuse to believe it exists.**

Harry smiled, remembering how stupid he must have seemed to the train assistant.

 **Harry: Well, sir you've gotta help me. I just ran away from home from my mean aunt and uncle. They keep me under some stairs. Listen, you gotta believe me. I got this letter from Hogwarts School of Witch…sir! Listen, please, a bird gave it to me.**

Harry frowned at the mention of the stairs, and hoped that there wouldn't be a repeat of the reactions he got during the first musical. Luckily for Harry, the people around him seemed to have come to terms with the fact that Harry had been abused by his aunt and uncle, and so did not comment. Hermione however, seemed to be silently raging next to him, and Molly Weasley looked as though she was tempted to hunt down Aunt Petunia and Uncle Dursley.

 **Harry: (reading letter) Yeah right, Hogwarts.**  
 **Molly: Oh, hurry kids! We're gonna miss the train. Come on Weasleys, Bill!**

Molly smiled at her appearance. She somewhat liked this characterisation of herself.

 **Bill: Yoyo Ma.**

Bill rolled his eyes, but grinned. He definitely liked being portrayed as the coolest Weasley kid.

 **Molly: Charlie!**  
 **Charlie: I'm coming.**

Charlie smiled at his appearance.

 **Molly: Percy.**  
 **Percy: Hello Mother.**

Percy briefly exchanged glances with his mother, and looked away quickly, frowning, noticing an uncomfortable feeling in his stomach when he looked at her. He still hadn't forgiven his parents for their reaction to his new job, and Percy knew that he certainly wasn't going to be the first one to apologise.

Molly's face dropped when she saw the expression on her son's face. She still had not given up hopes of them having reconciling yet, but it appeared that Percy had.

 **Molly: Fred and George.**  
 **Fred: But I'm George!  
** M **olly: Nice try, you've got a F on your shirt dumbass.**

At this, Fred and George exchanged grins, both of them finding it completely plausible that their mother would say something like that. Molly smirked at their expressions, knowing exactly what she would say to the twins if they ever tried to confuse her again.

 **Arthur: Oh boy a real Muggle! Everybody say Chocolate Frog! *shuts bulky camera* I think I got it. Really.**

Arthur grinned, wishing that he could have his very own camera. He had learnt a lot about them from Hermione and Harry, and now he had added it to his Christmas gift list. He just hoped that someone

 **Molly: Oh Arthur, stop fiddling with that Muggle picture maker.**

Arthur glared at his wife for that comment. "It's not just a picture maker!" he protested. "It's a technological masterpiece!" His wife simply rolled her eyes.

 **Arthur: Alright dear.**  
 **Molly: George, Fred… *mumbles as she counts her kids* Bill, where's Ron with your sister?**  
 **Ron: Did somebody say Ron?**

Ron smiled, excitedly pointing out to Harry and Hermione that he was in the play.  
Hermione nodded, and whispered "We know that, Ron. We're watching the play too."

 **Molly: Ron, would you hurry, you're gonna miss your train.**  
 **Ron: Well, I'm trying to go faster but I've got this idiot little sister.**

Said 'idiot sister' glared at Ron, who took one look at Ginny's expression and quickly looked away.

 **Molly: Ronnie, apologize to your idiot sister.**  
 **Ron: No!**  
 **Molly: Oh, you're gonna get it! *claps at Bill* *clap goes down the line until Ron claps at Ginny***  
 **Molly: Stupid kids.**

"Thanks mum," Ron, Ginny, Fred, George, Charlie and Bill chorused. Percy just scowled.

 **Arthur: Alright gang, alright, picture time. This is Ronnie's first day at Hogwarts so here we go.**  
 **Molly: Oh they're so cute!**  
 **Arthur: Alright now, smile and *shuts camera* I got it. That'll be a good one!**

Molly smiled at the photo, feeling a sudden wave of pride for her large, kind family.

 **Molly: Uh, Arthur…**  
 **Harry: Excuse me sir.**  
 **Arthur: Yes my dear boy?**  
 **Harry: I couldn't but overhear you say something about Hogwarts. Can you tell me how to get to Platform 9 ¾?**  
 **Arthur: Platform 9 ¾? Why, it's right through that brick wall.**  
 **Harry: What?**

Harry snorted, remembering how silly it had all sounded when he first got his Hogwarts letter, and how scared he had been when he went to Platform 9 ¾ for the first time, all those years ago.

 **Molly: Arthur, I think he doesn't know. Must have been raised by Muggles.**

Draco sneered at the mention of Muggles. Just at that moment, Astoria looked over to the Slytherin table from where she was sitting with Luna at the Ravenclaw table. She saw Malfoy's expression at the mention of Muggles, and frowned. She had hoped that he would have matured somewhat since the last play, but it seemed unlikely.

'It's a shame that he's so arrogant,' Astoria thought. 'I know he's capable of being nice. I just wish that he would show it more often.'

 **Harry: What's a Muggle?**  
 **Arthur: What's a Muggle? Why it's a wizard who doesn't…I mean it's a wizard who can't…He doesn't know what a Muggle is.**

Ron laughed at his father's pronunciation of the word 'Muggle'. Arthur himself looked flummoxed that there were people who didn't know what a Muggle was.

 **Molly: A Muggle is a non-magical person. I tell you what, you stick with Ronnie over there. It's his first year at Hogwarts too. Alright Weasleys, in you go!**  
 **Arthur: Follow me gang, come on. Here we go.**  
 **Molly: Ginny dear, Ginny dear you come with me. Ginny, let the boys alone. Ginny, leave the boys alone. You can go to Hogwarts next year.**  
 **Ginny: No! (cries)**

Ginny blushed, clearly embarrassed as she remembered her own reaction to Ron going to Hogwarts. She had been crying for the entire journey to the train station, and luckily had managed to wipe her tears away by the time she saw Harry Potter for the first time.

 **Ron: Yes, at last, freedom!** **God, I hate my stupid little sister. Ugh, she is just such a…such a…**  
 **Harry: Butter face?**

"What on earth is a butter face?" Ginny asked, completely confused, mainly directing the question towards Hermione.  
Hermione shrugged. "I really have no idea," she replied. "Maybe it's an American thing."

 **Ron: Ha ha ha ha ha ha. You know what kid, you're alright.** **I'm Ron Weasley. Hey, do you want a delicious Red Vine?**  
 **Harry: Absolutely!**

Harry looked at his best friend. "What's a Red Vine?" he asked Ron, relying on the food obsessed ginger to know.  
Ron shrugged. "I don't know."  
Harry laughed. "I thought you were supposed to know every different type of sweet!"  
Ron glared at his friend. "Piss off. " He said jokingly. "I don't know every type of sweet!"  
Harry smiled, remembering to check if Honeydukes would have any in stock next time he went to Hogsmeade.

 **Ron: Well hey, here you go good buddy.**  
 **Harry: These are like my favorite snack in the whole world.**  
 **Ron: Oh my god, me too. *stare at each other than do a mirror thing* Alright, favorite Aimee Mann song on three, one-two-three.**  
 **Both: Red Vines.**

Hermione shook her head at Harry's inquisitive glance. She had no idea who Aimee Mann was, and wasn't going to pretend that she knew.

 **Harry: Favorite color of vines, other than green.**  
 **Both: Red Vines.**  
 **Ron: Favorite way to say red wines in a German accent.**  
 **Both: Red vines. Oh my god! *hug***

Harry and Ron grinned at each other, remembering their own first meeting, bonding over sweets.

 **Ron: Where have you been all of my life?**  
 **Harry: In a cupboard under some stairs.**  
 **Ron: That's so cool. Alright well, come on friend. Let's go to Hogwarts, just gotta go through that brick wall.**

Harry rolled his eyes at his best friend. "It's really not cool," he complained, although he was grateful for the fact that no one reacted to the whole 'living under the stairs' thing.

 **Harry: That sounds kind of scary.**  
 **Ron: Hey, it's okay. We can do it together. Wanna hold hands?**  
 **Harry: I would like that.  
Ron: On the count of three…one,**  
 **Both: Two, THREE! AH! *run at wall***  
 **Ron: That's a big brick wall**.

Harry and Ron grinned as their characters ran towards the'wall'.

 **Percy: All aboard gang, the Hogwarts Express.**  
 **Ron: Alright, let's go get a seat pal.**  
 **Harry: You got it.**  
 **Ron: Hey pal, that's uh a pretty cool headband you've got there.**  
 **Harry: Ah, thanks I wear it to cover this gross scar I got when I was a baby. I got it when the car my parents were driving crashed into a crocodile. My parents got eaten but then the crocodile took out a knife and gave me this scar. At least that's what my liar aunt and uncle told me.**

Harry snorted, feeling that this story about this crocodile was just about as plausible as the one Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia had told him. The story that his aunt and uncle had told him made less and less sense the more he thought about it. Sure, it explained his parents' death, but definitely hadn't explained his scar, especially the shape of it.

 **Ron: That sucks, can I see it?**

"How sensitive of you," Hermione said dryly.

 **Harry: Uh yeah, sure *takes off headband* What?**  
 **Ron: Oh my god, you're Ha…you're Har Har.**

"Yes, that's correct. My name is Har Har."

 **Seamus: Bloody Hell, it's Harry Potta!**  
 **Kids: Yay!**  
 **Seamus: Seamus Finnegan for yah Mr. Potter, gotta say meeting you like this is a right treat, a right treat.**

"Wait, that's supposed to be me?!" the real Seamus Finnegan yelled. "I'm not Cockney!"

 **Harry: Hi Seamus.**  
 **Dean: What up man my name is Dean Thomas. You want some bubble gum?**  
 **Harry: Yeah, I love bubble gum.**

Dean rolled his eyes at his on screen appearance, and at the fact that he now wanted bubblegum. Unfortunately, the house elves didn't seem to know that bubblegum was even a thing, so he doubted that he would find it in the kitchen. He just hoped that Honeydukes would have some.

 **Neville: Will you sign my Harry Potter poster Mr. Potter?**  
 **Harry: Uh yeah sure. Okay, uh, who should I make it out to?**  
 **Neville: Neville Longbottom sir.**  
 **Harry: Okay, Shlongbottom.**

"Why did I call you 'sir'?" Neville asked Harry.  
"Dunno," he replied. "Why did I call you Shlongbottom? It's not that hard to say your name."

 **Cho: Ni Hao, Harry Potter my name is Miss Cho Chang y'all. You should visit the Ravenclaw House sometime.**

"I think my character gets more and more annoying every time she's on the screen." Cho said. Marissa nodded. "I'm just glad that I don't seem to be in the play." She replied.

 **Harry: Ron, what is going on? Everyone is treating me like I'm, like I'm famous or something.**

"Well, I am the Boy Who Lived."

 **Ron: Harry, you are. *singing* You're Harry Freakin' Potter. You don't understand you're a legend man to us all. Every son and daughter  
Students: Safe!  
Ron: from You-Know-Who all because of you. You were small but I wonder if you can recall?  
Students: Oooo…**

'Unfortunately, yes.' Harry thought, doing his best to forget his nightmares with flashes of green light.

 **Ron: Long story short, this guy *whispered* Voldemort, *normal* was super cruel.**

"That's a bit of an understatement." Harry said.

 **Harry: Voldemort?**  
 **Students: Ah, sh!**

Harry rolled his eyes at the students' reaction.  
"Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself," Hermione quoted, looking at Dumbledore, who gave a small smile.

 **Ron: He tried to kill you and your parents and this is where it gets intensely cool. Even though you were a tiny little boy, you should've died but you survived and then destroyed, this evil guy  
Harry: What?  
Ron: and it's a story we enjoy to tell!**

"Well, I'm glad I can entertain you." Harry said.

 **Students with Ron: You're Harry Freakin' Potter! We don't prefer Gandalf, Merlin, or Oz. You're a whole lot hotter. With that lightning scar, you're a superstar to us all! If we're in trouble, we know who to call!**

"I prefer Gandalf actually." Harry said.  
"I prefer Merlin. At least he's actually real," Ron said.

 **Cho: Hey y'all! *dance scene***

"Good lord, it gets worse," Cho said, desperately trying not to look at the dancing.

 **Ron: And the best part is, you're rich!**

"Priorities, Ron." Hermione said, a smile on her face.

 **Rita: Did somebody say Harry Potter?** **Rita Skeeter here from the Daily Prophet reporting to you live, dear, readers, from Platform 9 ¾ where I just happened upon the original Wiz Kid himself, Harry Potter the lad who lived. Now, let's you and me get on the level HP. Where have you been for ten years? Are you excited to go to Hogwarts? Are you frightened for your life?**

"Where is Rita anyway? She hasn't done any _good_ articles since last year." Blaise Zabini asked.  
Harry, Ron and Hermione shared a glance, each knowing exactly why Rita hadn't written her usual types of articles since last year, and none of them wanting to say why.

 **Harry: Why would I be frightened for my life?**  
 **Rita: Well, ain't you cock cure. Know this, dear readers, HP-the eleven year old tike shows no fear, even in the face of a murderous dog like Sirius Black.**

The black dog at the Gryffindor table let out a small whimper, and Remus patted his back. Harry looked over, a small frown on his face, barely noticeable to anyone other than Ron or Hermione.

 **Harry: Who's Sirius Black?**  
 **Rita: -Who's Sirius Black?- You don't know? He used to be your dad's best friend until he betrayed him to the Dark Lord and got him killed. Yup, turns out he was a Death Eater. He killed thirteen ducks before they caught him and I mean people. He hates your guts, wants you dead. He just escaped from Azkaban but it's no skin off your back kid. You know why?**

"That's not true," Harry muttered angrily. Hermione looked at him sympathetically, and patted her friend's hand. Harry looked at her, grateful for the comfort, and focused his attention on the play.

 **Rita: *singing* You're Harry Freakin' Potter! I wouldn't wince at all, you're invincible to all harm.** **Like Betty Crocker, I wanna eat you up, no one'll beat you up with that charm. Remember Harry kid, you're the boss, you're the king, you're the bomb!** **Keep your nose clean kid, don't take any wooden sickles ha!**

Harry raised an eyebrow at 'Rita's' singing, not even knowing how to respond to it.

 **Percy: All aboard. *students say goodbye to people off stage, Weasleys' do the longest goodbye***  
 **Harry: Ron, this is all too much to take in.** **This is all so surreal.**  
 **Ron: No it's not, you're Harry Potter. You're the coolest god damn kid in the entire world. Everything's awesome for you so you better get used to it.**

"Apart from the whole dead parent thing and having a mass murderer after me, yeah, everything's awesome!"

 **Harry: *singing* This is all so sad, I mean my mom and dad were killed long ago.**  
 **Students: Long ago they died.**

Harry couldn't help but to let out a small laugh at the chorus of students cheerily singing about his dead parents.

 **Harry: I wanna be psyched but being unliked is all I know.**  
 **Students: All he knows that's why.**

"I mean, that's not entirely true," Harry said, thinking about Mrs Figg down the road, and all of the people surrounding him.

 **Harry: I'd never thought I'd be a part of such a fate, an opportunity eleven years late. I guess it's time for me to step up to the plate and show 'em that I'm something great!**

Snape slightly raised an eyebrow at Potter's arrogance. 'Just like his father,' he thought.

 **Harry:** **I'm Harry Freakin' Potter! I'll do what I can if what you say I am is true. I can't be bothered by my awful past, I've found at last something I can do so it's time I knew exactly who I am! I'm Harry Freakin' Potter.**  
 **Students: "You're Harry Freakin' Potter!"**

By this time, many of the students had begun singing the line 'Harry Freakin' Potter' horribly out of tune. Professor Flitwick winced at the sound of all of their voices horribly clashing and not being able to keep in time, and briefly considering proposing that students have mandatory singing lessons so at least they wouldn't sound quite that terrible.

 **Harry: I guess.**  
 **Everyone: You're Harry Freakin' Potter!**  
 **Harry: I'm the man!**  
 **Everyone: Harry Freakin' Potter!**

By this time the singing, or rather the shouting, of the students had been getting increasingly louder and out of tune to the point where many of the teachers were clutching their heads as though they had some kind of migraine, and they probably did. Umbridge did one of her annoying coughs and the students immediately went quiet, although that was probably more to do with Snape's silencing spell than any kind of influence that Umbridge had over the students.

Satisfied, and believing that the students had gone silent because of her, Umbridge gave a sickly smile, and said "Onto the next scene then."

 **A/N: Thank you for reading the second chapter! I'm hopeful that the next chapter won't take quite as long to write as this one did- after all, this scene was pretty long. Anyway, thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed it!**


End file.
